4 SEO Clients That Drive Me to Drink & How to Cope With Them (Spoof)

September 3, 2009 // Author: Jacob Stoops // 159 views // View Comments
Is it beer:30 yet?

Disclaimer: I come off as a big-time asshole in this video, and that is not my intention. My intention was to put a bit of a funny and sarcastic spin on a couple different types of SEO clients that drive me crazy. There will be stereotypes, and below there will be solutions on how to handle these types of clients. Please do not take get angry and take the video literally.

There are good SEO clients & bad SEO clients. The good SEO clients work well with you, want to learn about what their investing their time and money in, and are generally responsive and willing to work with you on potential SEO issues. Bad SEO clients are well, bad. There is no other word. We’ve all had our horror stories of the untrusting client who questions your every move, judges your performance in short time periods on small sample sizes, refuses to work with you to make changes, and is looking for an excuse to quit the campaign the whole time.

So, what I’ve decided to do is detail out the 4 main types (there are probably others) of unruly SEO clients, and how to best deal with them.

1. The “Uneducated” Client

Generally speaking, this type of client either knows technology and just doesn’t want to learn, or has technology IQ that barely allows them to turn on the computer. Either way, they can be a hassle becuase they just don’t have a good understanding of what they’re money is going towards, and why SEO is a good long-term marketing strategy.

Here is a quote from client I’ve worked on who was less than educated:

“I feel like I just burning stacks of money and I don’t know why?”

How to Cope:

  1. Go out of your way to educate the client on SEO and how it can benefit them.
  2. Explain that SEO is not witchcraft & your not a vodoo doctor.
  3. Show them some successes that you’ve had while working with them.
  4. If that doesn’t work, refer them to other successful clients you’ve worked with.

2. The “Car Salesman” Client

Okay, before all the car guys out there get angry. This type of client isn’t literally a car salesman. It’s a spoof on the stereotypical pushy salesguy who makes tons and tons of guarantees (whether they’re realistic or not). We’ve all been a witness to this type of guy at least once in our lives (on tv or in person maybe).

My point about this client is that they’re the kind of people that want all kinds of guarantees on the spot. As an ethical SEO (and since you don’t work at Google), you can’t really make any guarantees. So when these guys want guarantees either before they sign on or after they’ve signed the contract, it puts us SEO’s in a tough spot.

How to cope:

  1. Educate them on how SEO works.
  2. Don’t make guarantees about rankings or traffic.
  3. Only guarantee that you’ll put in X amount of SEO time for Y amount of dollars.
  4. If forced to give them a number, you can set expectations by citing past/similar clients you’ve worked with (but keep in mind that each SEO client is case-by-case probably both with keyword targeting and budget).

3. The “Jersey Mike” Client

This type of client usually has a pretty large ego that comes attached to their campaign. Their probably the guy or gal that has a huge sense of entitlement. In their egotistical mind, they think that not only SHOULD everyone know who they are, they SHOULD be searching for them by name (thus making all other strategies complicated).

How to cope:

  1. Educate them on SEO strategies to target keywords.
  2. Help them check their ego at the door by explaining that people MIGHT NOT BE searching for them by name.
  3. Let them know that ranking well isn’t easy, and that it takes time and constant effort!

4. The “Skeptics & Schizoid” Clients

It’s not that I hate these types of clients, it’s just that I don’t understand them.

First the skeptics. Why put money into something you don’t believe in? Karma can be a bitch, and being a negative-nancy isn’t the way to garner enthuisiasm about your SEO campaign. If you’re negativity is this bad here, chances are it’s probably leaking (or already has leaked) over into other areas of your business. So lighten up and trust us!

For the schizoids, just simmer down a little bit. These are the types of client that help you rack up that big phone bill. They’re constantly calling, calling, calling, calling, you get the picture. It’s your job as an SEO to calm them down a bit.

How to Cope:

  1. Educate them on SEO & how search engines work.
  2. For skeptics, explain not just what you’re doing, but why.
  3. Show them successes you’ve had with their campaigns.
  4. For the schizoids, explain to them that rankings fluctuate daily (sometimes hourly).
  5. Ensure them that you’re doing the best you can, and that you’re following SEO best practices for their campaign.
  6. Give them a beer!

Alrighty! For SEO’s, I hope this helps you deal with some of your more unruly clients. An for SEO clients, please don’t hate me. I’m just trying to help break down the barriers that you sometimes give us, so that you can have a happy and successful SEO campaign :-)

Big thanks to Eric Leslie at OnScene Media & Marketing for helping me with my video this week!

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  • HAHAHAHAHa so true man. although I would throw in the "Commission client". You know the whack jobs with some unsellable new widget they made in their garage and only want to pay commission on sales. We get a ton of these "get rich over night" inventors that have nothing to pay us with but dreams and sob stories.

    Awesome videos!
  • jacobstoops
    Phil, thanks for the comment. I try not to bust on clients since they keep me employed, BUT they are also the ones that give me gray hair, so they might deserve my fury just a little bit.
  • Andi Grant
    I'm new to the SEO thing and this was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! Great job!
  • I love this video... hilarious! I understand where you coming from, as I too deal with similar clients in my service business.
  • I do so love this video. I think most of your client "traits" can be adapted across all types of marketing, too - I know I've encountered my fair share of the uneducated and the skeptics. Great tips for trying to make things work!
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